rowan_rose (rowan_rose) wrote in skinny_knickers,

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Sometimes lately I feel alone...

Yeah, it's true. I don't feel like I have anyone to talk to except John and my family except none of them are here. I feel so out of the loop with everyone at school. I don't know why. I feel like Steph and Kara are the best of friends now and that sometimes I just get in their way. I bet it's just me and Steph is less open with me lately because she's really stressed and she always closes off to people when she's stressed. She deals with problems internally. But it seems like she's still open with Kara. I just feel like there's a wall. And I'm afraid if I bring it up, they'll think I'm needy (because I was needy last semester and I swore off being needy) or that their won't be any problem and they'll just think I'm insecure. I don't know maybe one or both of those are true. Am I needy? Am I insecure? Am I just PMSing? Am I depressed? It just feels like we're growing a part (this was expected), we're branching out into our own worlds. But it's like God's providing everyone else with replacement friends except me. All of my new friends are seniors and in their upper upper level classes so I never see them. Maybe this is God's way of getting me to rely completely on Him. Maybe He's breaking me? I just want someone to talk to.
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